Last Wednesday evening, I was on my way home and a guy stopped me a couple of blocks away, started to ask for directions and then switched to telling me about just getting out of jail and how he really wants to kiss someone, told me he wanted to take me out to dinner right now- not asking me if I was interested, but just started in with “come on let’s go” as if my agreement was already established, and started making comments about my, eh, person. I said I was on my way to my boyfriends, have a nice night. He told me that my boyfriend didn’t have to know.
I told him no thank you and kept walking, but I was at a five way intersection, both lights red for the street I was on and traffic keeping me from just crossing the intersection anyway. He asked me several times for a kiss, and when I kept saying no, he started leaning towards me, putting out his hands like he was groping the air in front of me and asked me why, said I should do it as an “act of goodwill”, a “personal service” and that he would pay me for it. Pay me. I backed away and said no again, the light changed and then he just said “okay fine whatever” and backed up, I headed towards the bar across the street where several people were gathered outside and stayed there long enough to watch him go in the opposite direction, enough to be sure he wasn’t going to follow me.
I really was afraid that this guy was going to grab me and try to drag me somewhere, he was holding onto a bike which, for all I know, the awkwardness of that might have been all that stopped him.
When I lived in Baltimore, things like this happened much more frequently, I don’t believe I’ve had another incident like this here in Portland, though unwanted commentary from men (and once or twice women) still abound. The really screwed up thing is that one of my first thoughts after getting away was-and one of my prevalent thoughts on the matter continues to be- that I’m thankful it hasn’t happened as often here as it did there. Even more screwed up? The idea that I’m thankful on the matter at all. It took me a few days to stop questioning what I said and didn’t say. I usually don’t trot out the imaginary boyfriend in that scenario. It’s usually an imaginary girlfriend for me.
I know that might seem counterintuitive to a lot of folks, that it would invite the “ooh can I watch” commentary, but in my experience, when I’ve used that in the past, the guy in question often would try to compete with this boyfriend that didn’t exist. It was tedious at best. Then one day when I did have a girlfriend, I wasn’t thinking much in one of these situations, that it just came out as “yeah my girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate that”, and it kinda like magic, the guy shut up, backed off and apologized. It has been like that every time I’ve said that with precisely two exceptions (one of those was another woman, in the other case, the guy tried to compete with my girlfriend told me I needed a man, to which I responded that if he couldn’t respect my wishes, then she was already twice the man he was. He didn’t say another word and slunk away. Being that she was a very gender-neutral female, when I told her about it later she was amused ). So…in my experience it not only diffuses the situation quickly but does so without having to rely on the guy respecting the other man, even if it’s not out of respect for me directly.
But whatever, it’s passed, I can’t un-say anything. I can just hope it doesn’t happen again.
Writing with Color: Description Guide - Words for Skin Tone
We discussed the issue of describing People of Color by means of food in Part I of this guide, which brought rise to even more questions, mostly along the lines of “So, if food’s not an option, what can I use?” Well, I was just getting to that!
This final portion focuses on describing skin tone, with photo and passage examples provided throughout. I hope to cover everything from the use of straight-forward description to the more creatively-inclined, keeping in mind the questions we’ve received on this topic.
So let’s get to it.
S T A N D A R D D E S C R I P T I O N
B a s i c C o l o r s
Pictured above: Black, Brown, Beige, White, Pink.
"She had brown skin.”
- This is a perfectly fine description that, while not providing the most detail, works well and will never become cliché.
- Describing characters’ skin as simply brown or beige works on its own, though it’s not particularly telling just from the range in brown alone.
C o m p l e x C o l o r s
These are more rarely used words that actually “mean” their color. Some of these have multiple meanings, so you’ll want to look into those to determine what other associations a word might have.
This is an awesome reference!
The sun confuses me. Can you explain why it rises every day if it will just go on an set at night?
Because the sun owes money to the moon so it’s constantly running- and the moon gets angrier the further away it is from the sun, so when they’re so far apart, the moon is soooo bright. But as it gets closer, it remembers, yeah, the sun is an okay dude, maybe it’ll pay me this time, and the moon’s anger dims a little. Then they hang out a little, the sun’s all “Aww, forgot my wallet, I’ll catch you next time, bro” and starts bailing on the moon again, and it just gets angry again.
THERE IS A CHRISTIAN MINGLE MOVIE OMG WHERE I WIL HATE WATCH IT WITH YOU
YES HERE IS THE TRAILER. Yes this is what Lacey Chabert is doing with herself these days.
Holy Product placement. I mean, it’s CALLED “Christian Mingle”. I can’t wait for the reviews.
Unlucky in love woman pines to meet THE ONE Joins an online dating service (Spoiler: It’s Christian Mingle) and then meets THE ONE. The snag? He’s Christian, she isn’t. She lies about it, he discovers the lie. Think he’ll ever forgive her? New cases of diabetes suddenly quadruple.
I fukin love 14th century art art because everyone looks so shady and suspicious of ppl around them its AMAZING
or just like they know something u dont and oh my gdfuck i cant
I believe the highest point is reached in Simone Martini’s Annunciation
and the look of absolute hatred Mary and Gabriel exchange.
"mary i know ur only half a virgin"
"fuck off gabriel"